A lot of you know me through my tragedy. My first child Norbert was stillborn in 2005. Then in 2014, Return to Zero, the Emmy-nominated feature film based on our experience, was released. For the past six years, I’ve been hosting healing retreats for mothers who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. Then in 2018, Return to Zero: HOPE officially became a nonprofit organization.

I was somewhat of an emotional disaster before 2014. For the first nine years after my loss - even though I had two beautiful living children - I felt so alone and like I was going crazy. 

Through my work in the nonprofit, I am drawn to focus on growth and healing after loss. I have learned and believe that healing is a verb - something we actively do - rather than an end product. 

We aren’t ever “healed”. We are constantly evolving and growing, which takes active work.

Only once I began to dive into my healing, even if I didn’t know that was what I was doing, did my stuck energy begin to shift. Because growth, healing, and transformation don’t happen automatically over time, I want to show others ways they can participate in their healing. 

Healing is individual, and you need to find out what works for you at this specific moment in time.

Growth and transformation also come in different layers, like an onion. You can’t do it all at once. Rather, you take one piece at a time.

The following things helped me in my healing journey:

• Sharing my story (this was SO hard for me as a private person, but shifted things tremendously)

• Meeting other bereaved parents (and learning I wasn’t crazy in my thoughts)

• Creating a relationship with Norbert

• Helping others

• Going to therapy

• Listening to my intuition and being true to myself

In life, we often need someone walking on this journey with us, who has been in our shoes and can offer us guidance. That is what I want to do with other people who have endured the unexpected and out of order tragedy of losing a loved one. 

With love,

Kiley

p.s. Take a look at my offerings to see if we can work together on your healing journey.